


The Walls That Guard Us

by J_33



Category: Ant-Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 4+1 Things, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hope's trying and Scott's patient
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 23:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15302355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/J_33/pseuds/J_33
Summary: The four times Hope van Dyne (looks like she) has it all together, and the one time she (clearly) does not.





	The Walls That Guard Us

**Author's Note:**

> This turned out way longer than expected, but I hope its good lol. it's basically multiple one shots all combined that connect and stuff that delve into Hopes past with her dad and her current relationship with Scott. Enjoy!

The four times Hope van Dyne (looks like she) has it all together, and the one time she (clearly) does not.

1.

Hope graduates from college at the age of nineteen. That’s an impressive accomplishment anywhere, but even more so coming from the prestigious Harvard University. 

Hank shows up to her graduation to much of her surprise. He’s alone, in a grey suit, and there are dark bags under his eyes. His facial hair is thicker than the last time she saw him (nearly eleven months ago), but he still has the all too familiar look of disinterest and distraction plastered across his aging face. 

She remembers seeing that face at her ballet recital when she was eight. The unexpected death of her mother was still a fresh cut on both of their hearts at that point. Her mom loved dance, which was half the reason Hope even put the annoying pink tights and dumb tutu on. She’d much rather be covered in engine grease then glitter. But then, one day her father comes back from work alone, and she knows that something is horribly wrong. A freak plane crash, he had told her. Everyone called it a tragedy that the world lost a great mind so soon, but they seemed to forget that Janet van Dyne was a mother first. And now, her mother was gone, and even with her dad around, she felt all alone.

Staring at her fathers stoic face in the crowd of other parents full of joy and pride, Hope couldn’t help but feel alone again. This wasn’t her childhood dance recital, this was her college graduation, and still, her dad looked like he’d rather be at work doing god knows what, then watching his only daughter get her diploma. 

So, when her name is called, she see’s a flicker of shock cross her fathers usually jaded expressions. Instead of Hope Pym being the name that echoes across the auditorium, the speaker announces Hope van Dyne.

Hope accepts her diploma, with a fake smile, trying to ignore the ache in her chest at her fathers momentarily hurt look. Why should she even care what he thinks? If he cared so much about her last name he should have been a better dad, he should have been there instead of sending her off to boarding school when she was still grieving. 

She deserved better than his last name, so she decided to change it to her moms without telling him. It would honor her mother, and send a silent fuck you to her dad at the same time. Hope killed two birds with one stone, yet as she waits for the other names to get called, she clutches her diploma like it is her lifeline.

Suddenly she feels like a child again at her ballet recital, full of anguish and anger. Changing her last name hurt her father, but it didn’t bring her mother back, and it did nothing to fix the hole in her heart.

Hope was awakened from her thoughts when those around her threw up their caps as the crowd cheered and music played. Hope followed suit, and a stranger would think she looked like any other college student — ready to go out into the real world and embrace success.

Hope spent most her time trying to look like she had everything together, but in all honestly she had no idea what the hell she was doing. Luckily, no one had figured that out yet.

2.

A few years pass, and Hope has moved up the ranks of Pym Technology like no one before. After getting her masters in quantum mechanics and particle physics, she could have gone anywhere and done anything, but she chose the operation that her father built. On paper, she was a perfect fit, but deep down, she naively hoped that working at the same place as her dad would make him proud, and maybe, just maybe, they could reconnect.

Sure, he had done so many things wrong in the past. He never went to any of her soccer games, he forgot her birthdays, and he even accidentally killed her pet hamster when she was away on a field trip. He seemed to love his work more than his own daughter, but if Hope could work with him, maybe he would grow to love her to.

Things went smoothly at first. Even though neither of them would admit it, they were very alike, which is why they worked so well together. They spent more time in the lab, going over probabilities, and conducting experiments then she had spent with him most of her childhood. 

But then, he picks Darren Cross to be his protégé. Darren was brilliant, but he was arrogant and foolish, and he wasn’t his flesh and blood. Hope didn’t want Hank to choose her because she was his daughter, but everyone knew that she was the better scientist. Yet, he still found away to reject her and make her feel inferior despite all her effort to make amends. 

Any ounce of forgiveness that Hope had in her evaporated the moment he picked Darren over her. Once she is appointed to the Board she doesn’t even hesitate before casting the final vote that would kick Hank out of the company that he built from the ground up. The same look of hurt briefly flickers across his face that she saw at her graduation so many years ago, but just like a candle in the wind, it fades as fast as it appeared.

The paper breaks the news of her betrayal the next day, and when reporters ask her why she did it, she says that it was what was best for the future of the company, and her fearless disguise conveys the same. But behind her bob cut and bangs, stiletto heals, and sharp pantsuit, Hope is falling apart at the seams.

She decides to pour herself into her work, and it helps that her and Darren can bond over their shared hatred over Hank Pym and his selfishness. All that serves as a great distraction in the beginning, and she starts to forget how messed up everything is under the shiny lights and fancy technology, but then Darren begins to lose his mind, almost as fast as he is losing the hair on his balding head. 

He is close to figuring out a way to shrink living things, and unlike her father, he is choosing to abuse the particle and turn it into a weapon of mass destruction. That’s when Hope decides to swallow her anger and pride, and ask Hank for help.

Each knock at the door of her childhood home cracks something within her, but when her dad opens the door, she stands up straight and wills herself to keep it together. This is nothing but business, anyways. 

“We’re in trouble,” she says, through pursed lips.

“It’s nice to see you too,” Hank says, and it takes everything inside her to stop from punching him in the face right then and there.

3.

Hope normally has no trouble staying calm and composed in the company of other people, but then a sarcastic and immature ex-con names Scott Lang comes around. The same way he easily slipped into her old home and found the safe, he also finds a way to get’s under her skin.

Scott talks too much but says too little, he never puts anything away in the right spot, and he see’s every pause in conversation as an opening to tell a joke (one that’s normally either unknowingly offensive, uncomfortable, or both).

She blames it on his ignorance. It’s like he just doesn’t see how crucial this mission is. If they don’t stop Cross than the world is going to be in some deep shit. Maybe he does understand, but he just doesn’t care. Either way, Hope is the one who has been preparing for months. She knows the plan better than anyone, she has all the ants wrapped around her finger, and is far better at hand to hand combat even with all of  
Scott’s ‘prison training.’ One would have to be blind to not see the giant, glowing arrow that is pointing directly at her for best able to wear the suit.

Still, her father went through all of this trouble to have Scott save the day. When Hank chose Darren over her, she was hurt, but this just makes her furious. She can’t help but storm out of the house after he yet again, denies her from reaching her full potential, after she demonstrates how she is better suited for the job.

Hope’s in her car with her hands suffocating the steering wheel. She’s frustrated, and mad, and to make matters worse, the fate of the future is still unknown. She wishes that she never came to Hank in the first place. She should’ve known better. Why would he suddenly give her a chance after all this time? 

She’s about to leave and never look back when Scott slides into her passenger seat. 

“Oh god,” she exhales, with no patience left to give.

He states some dumb joke, and it triggers a long spew of honesty out of her mouth. She tells him how she didn’t see her dad for two weeks after her mom died, and how he shipped her off to boarding school, and how even with all this at stake he still manages to shut her out.

But then Scott says something serious for once. He says how he’s only in the suit cause he’s expendable.

“He’d rather lose this fight, than lose you,” Scott says, and Hope knows he’s not lying because he’s a father himself.

Hope feels like an idiot, but she decides to compose herself, and help him learn how to control the ants. 

They eventually go back inside, and Hank confesses that her mom really died during a mission. She went subatomic and saved thousands, but was lost forever in the process.

“I was trying to protect you,” Hank says. “I lost your mother, I didn’t mean to lose you too.”

His words shake her core and threaten to expose her well trained facade. She wishes so badly that he told her all this sooner. Maybe then she could have truly healed. But at least she knows the truth now. 

Tears escape her eyes at this revelation, but Scott interrupts them before she can fully break. 

Hope shakes off whatever she’s feeling inside. There’s work to be done.

4\. 

When the dust settles, after the company explodes in on itself, her dad get’s shot, and Scott goes subatomic, but he survives, Yellow Jacket becomes nothing but a bad memory.

They saved the day, and the mission is over. She wonders what is next for her, a foreign thought for a women who always has a plan. The unknown brings invisible chills up her spine, but then Scott pulls her in and kisses her when she is showing him to the door, and the chills subside, overcome by a warmth she hasn’t felt in a very long time.

Her dad catches them, and the warmth is replaces with extreme embarrassment, and she definitely didn’t miss this at boarding school.

Hope chalks there spontaneous kiss up to adrenaline from the fight, and past tension that never had a chance to get released, but then it happens again. During a sparring session, she sweeps him to the ground, and Scott tries to kiss her. To much of her surprise, she lets him.

They have sex for the first time after a long day of work. They’re both tired and dirty from being in the lab so long. She’s working on trying to tighten a pipe in one of the radiation blockers, while he acts busy. She’s humming some random tune, and then she stops, when she feels his eyes on her. They pierce into her guise like a dagger.

“Can you stop staring at me, and please pass me the wrench?” She asks, smirking despite herself. 

He hops off the desk he was so casually sitting on, and goes to hand it to her. His fingers brush hers, and suddenly whatever she was working on doesn’t seem important anymore.

She drops the wrench, and kisses him. Before she knows it, they’re making out, and she’s never felt more awake. He sweeps important documents and files off of the closest desk, flinging a stapler off in the process. She laughs as it hits the floor with a loud clang. 

“You’re cleaning this mess up later,” Hope says, and he trails kisses up her neck, her hands running through his hair.

Scott leans back for air. “Totally worth it,” he says before ripping off his shirt with a playful grin.

Now there’s debris everywhere, and it looks like there was some sort of struggle in the lab. They are both sweatier and dirtier than before, as they sit in the kitchen eating some left over pizza, oblivious of destruction they just created.

Scott’s still staring at her, and she feels like he can see right through her. The walls that guard her are crumbling before him, and this anti-relationship they have going is about to get a lot more complex.

“You’re perfect,” he says, with a mouthful of pizza.

If only he knew how wrong he was. She doesn’t know how much longer she can keep up this facade. Sooner or later he’s going to find out that she’s not perfect, she’s not even close, and she’s scared to see the look on his face when he realizes it.

Thankfully, she is spared from answering by her father’s voice coming from the lab.

“Was there some kind of small earthquake while I was out?” Hank yells.

Scott and Hope just laugh.

+1

People build up the walls that guard them. They decide how durable and tall to make them. Some peoples walls are thicker than others. Some are chipped and corrupted, and others are made of steel. People build these walls to protect themselves from getting hurt, but as much as they keep others out, they also trap the person inside, and soon enough the view of the wall undermines the view of the sun.

Hope’s wall came under construction the day her mother died, and it grew stronger every time her father let her down. It helped her give off the illusion that she had it all together by barricading her from pain, but still pain managed to seep through.

It scared her that Scott seemed to be able to see through her mask. She imagines him dressed in all black, scaling the side of her wall, and climbing up the side to come rescue her from herself, and although the thought of freedom was tempting, she wasn’t ready to let her guard down.

She distracts herself with work and trying to find her mom who might now be alive. Scotts still there (and they continue to work together, train together, and do other stuff together), but she tells herself that the feelings within her aren’t love.

The path to finding her mom has plateaued, and weeks pass without any breakthrough, so Hope decides to go to the bar downtown to take the edge off. One drink turns into two, and two turns into many. Three hours pass and the fate of her mothers existence seems less burdensome already.

She’s downed so many shots that they are starting to taste more like water. 

“Hey beautiful,” a man says, as he slides into the bar stool next to her. “Can I buy you a drink?”

“I’m okay thanks,” Hope replies because she’d really rather be alone right now, plus is it even okay to accept a drink from a stranger if she has a boyfriend? But Scott isn’t her boyfriend; they’re just two people who happen to work together and spend a lot of time outside of work together doing both naked and non-naked activities. Wait isn’t that the definition of boyfriend?

She so deep in her thoughts about where her and Scott stand that she forgets that the man who offered her a drink is still next to her.

“Oh come on, one drink won’t hurt,” but she just shakes her head. “How about a dance?” He asked, followed by another question, and another, getting visibly more upset each time she politely denies.

The guy is riled up. “Are you in a relationship or somethin?” He asks.

“I don’t know,” she mumbles, and then she freezes, and decides to go find out, courtesy of liquid courage. “Excuse me,” she says before leaving the bar.

It’s 2am by the time the taxi drops her off in front of Scotts house. She throws a wad of cash at the guy, and stumbles up to his front door. 

She knocks on his door, while yelling his name. It sounds frantic, and any passerby would think that she was crazy, but she’s never felt more calm.

Scott opens the door in his robe, and looks like he just woke up. As he rubs the sleep out of his eyes, he says, “Hope, what’s wrong? What are you doing here?”

She walks past him, not waiting for an invite. “Why does something need to be wrong for me to see you,” she slurs. “Maybe I just missed you.”

“Okayyy,” he says wearily, tiptoeing around the intoxicated elephant in the room. 

Hope flops down on his living room couch, and he sits down next to her.

“Are we dating?” Hope asks abruptly, and Scott is glad he already sat down for this. He goes to respond, but she interrupts him. “I know we chose not to label this, which is fine, this is fun, I’m having fun, are you having fun?” She asks, and he goes to answer again, but is interrupted… again. “It’s just that life is short, and my mom might be stuck in the quantum realm forever, and I hate labels but I hate not knowing more.”

“Hope—“ he starts, but is cut off once again.

“I like you Scott. I mean I really like you. I like your smile, I like your daughter, oh, and your smile. I hate you sometimes, but most of the times I like like you, and I think that I had to get drunk to admit it,” she rambles on. “I’m not perfect. Half the time I have no idea what I’m doing, and I distance myself from people to avoid disappointment, but I’m tired of distancing myself from you. I don’t care if you don’t feel the same way, I just need you to know.”

He sits still, waiting for her to interrupt him again in her drunken craze, but when she doesn’t he decides to answer.

“I like like you too,” he says, smiling in a way that makes her body tingle. 

She looks happy, and relieved, but then she turns pale, and a painful expression crosses her face.

“What’s wrong?” Scott asks, but he needs no reply because she’s suddenly standing, and running to the bathroom.

He follows her and enters just as she throws up into the toilet. Scott holds her hair back as she continues to throw up. He then sits with her on the bathroom floor.

Her head is leaning up against the toilet seat, and he’s leaning against the wall staring at her (he’s always staring). She probably looks disgusting, and she’s never felt worse, and he just watched her yack for twenty minutes, but when Hope looks at him looking at her, even through half closed eyes and blurred vision, she sees nothing but love. 

The next morning she wakes up and feels like she was hit by a truck, but she also feels good. Her walls are a little thinner today, and each day with Scott they grow thinner and thinner. 

Hope doesn’t have it all together, but listening to Scott snore besides her, she thinks maybe that’s okay.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had as much fun reading drunk Hope as I did writing her. At first I made her all cynical and closed off, but then I wanted to see her as a funny and talkative drunk not sad one, so then she can finally open up and tell Scott how she truly feels. I feel like there are a thousand ways Scott and Hope can confess their feelings to each other, and this is just one funny way they could do it. Thanks for reading, and comment what you thought, or any ideas for future fics. I would have posted this sooner, but I was too busy last night getting drunk myself lol.


End file.
